This is the most-asked question when spouses are in high levels of conflict that leads them to the decision of getting a divorce.
No matter what age your kids are, divorce will always affect them. There’s no way to escape that. Divorce is still a life-changing event that will leave an impact, especially to the children. But there are some things you can do to help your kids deal with the divorce:
Be Clear. Be Honest.
You may feel tempted to relieve your kids’ pain by not being direct about what’s really happening. Be honest and do not sugarcoat the situation. Letting your kids believe that reconciliation is possible will only hurt them more because it will only delay the acceptance process. And even if possible reconciliation is there, do it without the involvement of the kids.
You go counselling together and go on a date without your kids’ knowledge until you’re both sure that reconciliation is really possible.
Join a divorce recovery program intended to help you recover during and after your divorce. This step is necessary for your children because it will be easier for them to make progress seeing you slowly recovering. You may also consider signing up your kids with this kind of program, too. You may also seek help from San Antonio divorce lawyers if you need any legal guidance.
Remain the communication open
Silence is not always the answer not to make things worse, but you are not required to deliver all details to your kids, either. Encourage them to communicate and allow them to express their disappointments. Leave the door open for your kids to ask questions and be honest with your responses without oversharing and bad-mouthing their father. Respect your kids.
Always Pay Attention
Your kids are hurt- disappointments and frustrations are present. Never take their feelings for granted. Even if you think that you and your kids are better off after the divorce, they view everything in a different angle.
Recognize that divorce is a destructive thing for your kids. And an important step in building a better future for them must be prepared. Be sensitive to warning signs that your kids need additional help like sudden, unexplained changes in behaviour, school performance, sleep, or eating habits.
One of the best ways that you can help your kids deal with your divorce is through your example. Show them that moving on is one step at a time, even when you’re facing the most challenging situation in your life.
As a parent, you have the responsibility to help your kids deal with the divorce and come out of the experience even stronger and better. Never downplay the fact that they are affected, too. So let them know you are aware that the situation is also hard for them and that you’ll be there to help every step of the way. And most importantly, remind them that they are, still, and will always be loved.